Words of Wisdom

I wanted to share some words of wisdom I was recently given by my dear Aunt Linda. I have been working on my Young Women's Personal Progress to receive my medallion. ( I never got it as a teenager.) One of the goals said "Ask a mother that you admire what she thinks are important attributes for being a mother. I quickly thought of my Aunt Linda. She is an amazing mother and has raised 5 wonderful, talented, strong children. The last of her children just returned home from his mission. Aunt Linda is a seasoned mother, she really knows what she is talking about. She has always been so sweet and kind to my family and has really filled a void in my life since my mom passed away. I always enjoy talking with her and love to hear her opinions on life etc. So here is her thoughts on the important attributes for being a good mother. Enjoy.

Of course, my opinion might differ from the rest of the world, since I believe the gospel is at the heart of developing anything good.
1.LIVE THE GOSPEL First and foremost, try to live the gospel consistently and try to teach your children to do the same, preferably by example. That should include daily prayer and scripture study, FHE, church attendance, temple attendance, etc. As you do this, you will come to be aware of your own weaknesses...that leads to understanding both your own problems and the possibility that your children (and husband) have problems, too. That leads to compassion and understanding.

2. LOVE YOUR CHILDREN That's not really hard to do, but sometimes it is. When those "special" moments occur, don't kill your kids! Carefully pick and choose what you are willing to fall on your sword about--most things aren't really that serious. If you're keeping a gospel-centered home, you can address a lot of issues prior to them ever happening in your family during family scripture study or FHE. Take advantage of teaching moments to have a good talk with your kids, both individually and as a group. Be there! When your kids are performing, speaking, involved in sports, etc. Be there! Also, make sure you express love for and continually touch and hug your kids--I always tried to especially do this during church (put my arm around each one--rub their backs--etc.), so that they would relate going to church with a loving family and always have a warm feeling about it. Of course, (again, you already do this) HAVE FUN WITH THEM! Do cute service things together (doorbell ditch and leave treats, food, etc. for others)--they'll always remember.

3.LOVE THEIR DAD This one can be tough, sometimes. Dads don't get as much practice as mothers in dealing with children, so they can sometimes blow it. Teach by example. They can learn. Quietly take them aside when they blow it and gently explain how they might otherwise have handled the situation. Don't correct them in front of the kids unless it is devistatingly out of control (then in private, ask your husband what the HECK is going on!!!). Make sure they attend as many of the kids' functions with you as humanly possible. When the kids come to you complaining about Dad, gently explain to them that Dad is doing the best he can and that he loves them. Try not to take the kids' sides, but show understanding. Go to the temple with hubby frequently.

4.PUSH YOUR KIDS TO EXCELLENCE Yes...I said PUSH. Demand excellence from them by enthusiasm and by creating a family expectation for excellence. Encourage, encourage, encourage, praise, praise, praise. Help them to see what they can do and help them to do it (without taking over completely). Recognize the differences and unique abilities in each child and push for them to hit their best level of accomplishment. Celebrate achievement as a family. Make a big deal out of their grades and don't fail to explain how good grades ensure a good future.

5.FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU ARE DOING OK--here's a tricky but important one. YOU have to acknowledge to yourself that you're doing a good job. Teach your kids to express gratitude to you (and their dad, but especially you!) for what you are doing so that you also receive positive feedback from them as they grow up. This pays off in a big way, since you will spend several years primarily with the kids and you may at times feel unappreciated--those kids will fill the need you have for acknowledgement if you've done a good job of teaching them gratitude. Look at your own accomplishments and acknowledge your development. Develop your own talents so that the kids see that you, too, are always pursuing something. Visualize yourself as a competent, compassionate and calm woman and mother. Practice seeing yourself reacting to situations in the way that you want to be able to handle them. Working it out in your head will translate into being able to do it in reality when the time comes.

Thanks Aunt Linda for your words of wisdom.